Not a Happy New Year…


I was so excited about Christmas, made Christmas card, decorate my house, went to all the celebration and feel great. But that’s not what I feel about new year, it’s the opposite to be honest. I come to think “What is so special about New Year?” Is just another day, another year, why people make such a big fuzz about it. Compare to the past I feel like this new year is so pathetic, and why do I feel this way?

First of all, and this is true, since the Christmas break I didn’t get the connection to write in my blog, so all the good stuff I want to say lost in the air, and in reverse all the negative energy file up within me.

The second thing, maybe because none of my sisters and brothers attended the New Year Eve gathering we’re having with my parents. One of my sister went out-of-town , a brother must go to work, another brother got a free voucher to stay in the hotel, and invite my other sister to stay in the other room. And my other brother is in the US. Well I don’t blame them for that, is just not according to what I have plan, and I am not a person who like to be left alone like that. What a night. Even the fireworks can’t bring the flavor to my first night, just like a meal without seasoning. Not to mention, the food I prepared go wasted for nobody there to eat them.

The third is about the New Year’s resolution, Usually is something I enjoy and exciting to make, and yes I did came up with some ideas, but somehow I lose my appetite, entertaining the thoughts maybe this is going to be another failure at the end of the year. And I don’t know why my husband keep pushing me to discuss about my resolution and show me his. I really don’t mind but he seems to care about it more than what I feel lately.

My Boss has not reply my e-mail about my working situation, maybe she’s too busy and forget about it (I have sent an SMS  to remind her), and that made me feeling a bit uncertain and ‘melo’. That’s the other reason.

Or is it because I am having my period and as usual become emotionally imbalance?

Whatever the reason, I wish to recover soon, I don’t like being in this state, no excitement, no hope, no soul (o dear). And it seems like I put my happiness on other people and the situation. I know I have been blessed with so many things and I should be grateful for who I am and what I have.  As I write this I feel better and I decided to make this new year a  really Happy New Year!

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