who says relationship is easy?

Me….. last month, even 2 weeks ago, but today I found it Challenging with the capital C . Just this past week I faced 2 problems about relationship. One is my sister with her kids. Man! isn’t that the closest relationship on earth? mother and child, it should be come naturally, yes but they seems to repeat the same mistake over and over again, she got so frustated with them. I kind of feel for her because her husband is working out-of-town, and come home once awhile, is not easy at all to handle 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl. The boys gave her so much trouble, hardly study, play at friend’s house all day, come home really late, the house is always messy, etc.  I will be smoking if i am her. I hope and pray things will get better soon.

The second one is between two friends of mine. They are in-laws, their husband are brothers. Surely they are different because they came from a different background, etnics group, but they live closed to each other ever since they were married. Maybe that’s the reason, when you live too close friction easily sparkle. Little thing about her daughter doing this and her daughter saying that caused this 2 moms hold grudges toward one another. And even though they are old enough to talk maturely they were not, instead bitterness had rooted in their heart. On the top of that, the husbands didn’t give much of a help either. I feel bad for them, i didn’t hope they will become best friend but at least they don’t get mad to each other like that.

Should I share to you about husband and wife relationship? I was quite surprised because even a couple like my parents whose been married for 40 years still argue with one another. I didn’t try to open their secret here, in a way I feel it’s funny, but feel bad at the same time because my dad was just joking about something that actually my mom is very sensitive about. suddenly mom cried and pour out all the hurt inside of her and my dad went very quiet. I end up counseled them, told my dad to listen to mom by looking at her eyes when she’s talking, not while reading newspaper or watch TV.

I believe a relationship can work when both people play their part. I remember try to make friend with one of the girl in church. At first she didn’t really care, I invited her for dinner, called her to study together, she did came but she never initiate. It take s a long time before she really understood and return my friendship. Now even though we’re far apart she always remember to e-mail me. Relationship must be woven by 2 people whether is between mother and child, 2 friends, husband and wives, 2 brothers or any kind. Sometimes one person must take a bigger role at first, but in the long run, if the other did not respond and play her/his part, it will be wither.

Even a great relationship can be broken or falling apart. That’s why there are divorces. Husband and wife who were once so in love to one another turned to hate one another. Nowadays people believe and depend so much on the thing called “chemistry” I am not against this, it does feel good when you have it, but we’re all created not with the same quality, so there will be people who are totally different from us, and it’s hard to get along. We have choices, either to give up or as we realize our differences, we work on how to win over him/her and grow in our relationship. Yes relationship is not easy, but we can make it, especially in the family!

I am not a superwoman

 I’m not your superwoman
I’m not the kind of girl who you can let down
And think that everything’s okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me, ooh, baby

About 20 years ago, long before I got married I used to sing this song of Karyn White with my friends. back then I don’t really know the meaning, but after 10 years of married I think I can relate to it.

I am not trying to complaint about my husband, because he could  say to me “I am not a superman” as well. Is just right now we (still) don’t have a maid, so I feel like I am the one who doing all the chores in the house. Back from work I have to pick up the laundry from the laundry hanger in front of our house (thanks God for a sunny day), all are dry and smell good. Fold it nicely, if i got the time is enough I can iron them in the evening, follow by doing dishes from breakfast (didn’t have time to do it this morning). Meanwhile I have to make sure that my kids have their nap, if not I scolded them by saying if they don’t obey me they can take my place and do the house work. I will soak some more clothes in the buckets with detergent (I wonder why there are always clothes to wash?) Sometimes I sat for a little while in front of  TV and watch, but can’t be too long cause there are another chore wait for me. Next I will cook for dinner. Dinner here including rice, veggies and meat or fish (that’s healthy food in my opinion). After my kids are wake up I will take shower and make sure they do the same thing. Then when my husband come home, we can have nice dinner together.

My husband chores in the house is only (only) to sweep and mop the floor, and clean the bathroom once a while. But when he fail to do it I got irritated. He prefer to take the time to entertain the kids, in other words play with them. I don’t mind that but I can’t stand the floor dirty, should I do it too when I have 2 buckets of laundry waiting for me? And I mean by washing is doing it with my own hand and brush, we don’t have the machine. Last time he feel guilty seeing me so tired,  he did the ironing after I fall of sleep. I really appreciate what he did but I told him, I can do mine. He just have to make sure his, and give me lots of love.

Wake up in the morning is a constant burden for me, cause I hardly feel fresh. I need some “counterpain” (muscle’s remedial) on my hips and back after taking shower to make me feel better, and it’s hard to apply it by myself, and when my husband didn’t bother to help me,  I feel like he didn’t care. I started to make a list of what have I done:  cooked breakfast, prepared  lunch box for all of us, and help the kids to get ready and what did he does? just make sure himself ready. Don’t get me wrong this is not happen all the time, sometimes he does helped, but when you got angry you feel like that what’s happen all the time. O! is so much easier when we have a maid, but right now we don’t have that priviledge

Am I too spoil? There are many other women in my country and around the world who have to do this all their lives. Thank God if they have a good husband to bring home some dough for the family, but if not…how much worse their situation from me? I guess I just need to be grateful and learn to be effective. I am not a superwoman, but i can do it if I have to….for my family.

what i like about my husband

 

1. he’s helping me doing house work

2. he bathed our kids when they were babies.

3. he kiss me everyday, even in public place.

4. he said taking me to work and pick me up is his main job.

5. he send me romantic SMS

6. he prayed with me when i’m feel worry or in trouble

7. he always remember and planning for our anniversary celebration

8. he’s close to my parents and siblings

9. he cook breakfast for me (sometimes)

10. he was jealous when i talk to an old friend.