I am grateful for 2012 because…

it’s the year I stay home as full time mother
It’s the year I still have my family in complete set
it’s the year I visit Makassar and Palopo-my childhood place- with my dad
it’s the year we renovated our house after 9 years
It’s the year my kids started their friendship with Angel and Rio
it’s the year we started the Shining Star Bible talk
It’s the year I travel to 3 places in a month, Bali, Ambon & Surabaya
It’s the year my Jasmine get to grade 6 and got better grades
It’s the year we got phone line, 24 hours internet and Cable TV
It’s the year My husband accompany me in my morning walks a lot
It’s the year we get Niyomee the dog and Rihanna the cat
It’s the year I dare myself to be a translator for a gym tools
It’s the year My brother David got a bronze medal in Paralimpics, London
It’s the year I work on my garden quite often
It’s the year both of my kids got trophies from Sunday School
It’s the year my husband become fulltime at CAE and enjoy his work
It’s the year I started to really into cooking and baking
It’s the year My husband and I join hands and pray together every week
It’s the year Jasmine is really growing in her singing technics
It’s the year I got to know and be friend with some people from Bible Study
It’s the year I didn’t got to buy lot of stuff but yet feel so blessed
It’s the year I met some more old friends @ Facebook
It’s the year my kids started to help out with the household chores
It’s the year My brother Pierre and his family come to visit from Africa
It’s the year I enjoy my life just as I expect it to be


another direction…

This morning my beloved husband put me in the hot seat. As he drived me to work, after we drop off the kids to school, I was busy updated my Facebook’s status, suddenly he said he want to talk. I know that was going to be tough, because since he came back from the training or seminar yesterday night, he seems to have a new vision for his life. He talked about changing career with all the reasons. In fact is not really changing, he’s been doing it for a while, is just as a side job with at least 4 other jobs. As wife I to try listen and understand his points and somehow I think this is the “moment” of his life. He got to make this decision, so that he will focus to do what he like and reach his dream, but that also means changing in our family life and that’s not easy for me.

I have talked about changing last year, as I myself thinking about changing my career. And again is so happen that yesterday I was reading about Sarah in 1 Peter 3:5-6 (maybe God is preparing me for this). Just like them we’re about to take a journey of our live and I know is not easy for my husband to go through this. What he need right now from me as wife is to support him even though in some parts I don’t feel comfortable. I wrote an sms to him “part of me wanted to support your decision just like Sarah submit to Abraham and put her hope in God, but part of me scared for the journey seems to be long, tiresome and uncertain. But I guess is better to go and grab the promises rather than stay and be status quo. And as long as we are together, we will prevail“. I have seen him work very hard for our family, being responsible in many ways, and although this is like taking a risk, I believed God will blessed him and us as family.

simple things that made me happy…

I wrote this in 2002 when I only have my daughter Jasmine, then continued in 2005. I change some before upload this. As I read through, it brought back a great feeling about the good old-time, but also give me a sad feeling because nowadays I become intense and hard to be grateful for the little things like these. I still want to have a good time with my kids even though they are not cute babies anymore and enjoy my relationship with my husband just like those days.

1. See the smile in my daughter face.
2. When my husband cooked me breakfast
3. Listen to the music in the morning
4. Hot shower at night
5. Make friend with someone new
6. When my husband gave me a massage
7. Sing silly songs for my daughter
8. Eat my mother home-made soup
9. Smell my husband perfumed
10. Read and Memorize Psalms
11. Finish a task at work
12. Take pictures of my daughter
13. Translate a conversation for someone
14. Look at the sunset
15. Make cards for people
16. Drive/travel long hours
17. Pray with my husband
18. When someone say I look great/beautiful
19. Get an e-mail from a friend abroad
20. Watch a good movie
21. Drink ice tea or Hot tea
22. See sunflower on the street/florist
23. Read beautiful poem/lines
24. Paint my toenails
25. Breastfeeding my daughter
26. Listen my husband tell funny story even when is not that funny
27. Deliver a speech in Toastmaster
28. Get something good with a cheap price
29. Received SMS from an old friend
30. Look through my old pictures
31. Read a book for my kids before sleep
32. Weekend at my parents house
33. Meet my nephews (Mark, Brian and Sergelen)
34. Received sunflower stuff from friends
35. Kiss my baby feed
36. Sing Christmas songs not on Christmas
37. Share lunch with my co-worker
38. Holding hands with my husband
39. Have breakfast at Dunkin Donuts
40. Remember the old days in Boston with Joe
41. Sing from the book ” Songs of the Kingdom”
42. Take a different route to work
43. Eat Rujak with bunch of friends
44. Find money in my bag when I don’t expect it.
45. When my husband hold me as we sleep
46. Help my parents decorate the Christmas tree
47. Attend a good friend wedding
48. Pray outside/Pray walk
49. When Jasmine call me “Mamma”
50. Think about positive thing to say on someone’s birthday
51. Sit and have a talk with my mom
52. My husband kiss me in public
53. Speak English with native
54. Holiday
55. Have my mother sing on the phone for my baby
56. Cuddle on my bed on the rainy day
57. A bar of chocolate
58. One hour nap
59. A blanket for my sleep
60. Warm hug from sisters or brothers
61. Cut Jasmine’s tiny nails
62. Brush teeth in the morning
63. Have my parents visit me in the office
64. Free ride from friends
65. Study Bible with someone
66. Not come late to a meeting
67. Karaoke
68. See my husband in his blue jeans
69. Dare myself to talk to someone I felt Intimidated
70. Sweet dream
71. Watch a late night show just with my husband
72. Cook spagetti
73. Greenary
74. Making love early in the morning
75. A friend come over to our house
76. Write my prayer in English
77. Remember and SMS someone to wish her happy birthday
78. Burn incense in my bedroom
79. Pick up/drop someone at the airport/train station
80. Wrap christmas present
81. Keep myself from buying something nice but not really needed
82. Clean up the house
83. Someone to take care my baby while I am working
84. Eat healthy food
85. Some money from my brother David just when I need it.
86. Play guessing games in the car 
87. Read my English Bible
88. Saturday
89. Clap hands with Jasmine
90. Looking at my wedding keepsake book
91. Play with someone else baby
92. Deep conversation
93. Adventure with my kids 
94. Being married
95. When my husband send me romantic SMS
96. Doing some art work
97. Visit an old place
98. Get together with my husband family on Chinese New Year
99. Having my husband drop me off and pick me up from work
100. Write a list like this

change or not change…

I saw a friend status in facebook the other day “change or not change” , and somehow this is what I have in mind recently. I used to love changes when I was younger. Like I said my family moved every 5 years to other city, and although I felt sad to leave my old house and  friends, but the thought of meeting new people, going to new school, live in a different house interest me more.

As I got older, the idea of changing subside, I even develop a resistance to change. Once my husband bring up a conversation about moving to other place for the mission, which I used to look forward, but that time the idea was not only didn’t excite me but also made me stress. I guess I started to settle, like the house we live in, I like the neighbourhood, I feel good with the school my kids go to, I like my routine everyday. I felt changes will just ruin my life.

But when I think about it, even if I refused to change physically, I still have to change in many ways. Just this morning my husband talk to me about healthy living and healthy food, I don’t really want to change but like it or not, my body is getting older and I need to change my eating habit. I also think about changing in carrier because lately we have hard time with my son who has some problem with his character, I realize that I need to have more time with him. Still in consideration, but the need is getting obvious now.

I remember the story of Abraham and Sara who were called by God to move out from their comfortable life in the old age. They didn’t have kids but they have a big household with thousand of lifestocks, and they didn’t know exactly where God is going to lead them, but they trust and go. They faced so many challenges on the way, and the promised of God didn’t happen right away, it’s really easy for them to lose hope and turned back. But they keep on trust and keep on going until one day they finally found it.

It’s funny because sometimes what we have in mind is totally different from God’s plan. When we want to change God say No, but when we want to stay the same, God told us to change. My attitude need to imitate these two old folks. I need to learn how to trust God in every situation, whether is a big change or a small change, it doesn’t matter where he’s going to take me, I believe He will take care of me, my family and our needs, just like what He did to Abraham.

through the glass window


looking at my working table

full of papers, endless works

looking through the big glass window 

children playing happily, freely

which one is real? which one is better?

here in my office or out there in the field.

My body is here my mind is there.

If i go through that glass window will i be happier?