Happy 12 years anniversary my Love…

No flowers,
No candle light dinner,
No surprise gift,
but thank you for remember the day

You are getting bolder each year
more spots and wrinkles on the face
sometimes too tired for anything
but so do I and you still think I am beautiful.

we may not stay at the hotel like some years ago
or going to the spa and get treatment together
even just watch a romantic movie at home
but feel great that you always wanting me

Although a nice dress will make me happy,
and a pair of shoes would be nice
or that cheap but cute ring I saw at the mall
but your help in the house I appreciated the most

Thank you for the 12 amazing years
May we have many more awesome one ahead of us
and May God bless our love and commitment always
Happy Anniversary My love


happy birthday Daddy…

I love you daddy
you are my hero
(and you always in my dream)
I love you daddy o daddy
You are my superstar…

I remember this song sang by Ricardo & Friends many year ago. I used to sang it with my brothers and sisters when we were small, and it happen that we call our father “daddy” and not “papa”. But to tell you the true, I can truly say “I Love You Daddy” just a few years back.

I am proud of my dad coz he’s work very hard to get where he is now, and I also admire his heart coz he always help other people, family or not. but now I can say I love him coz as I get older I realize he is the best father for me.

I feel bad did not get a chance to met him today, coz he was busy at church the whole day, so do I. My brother and sister took him out for lunch and I couldn’t make it. But I am glad we got to talked on the phone in the evening and I can pray for him.

I wish my dad will enjoy his life now, coz he is so blessed by God, and I hope I can enjoy his present many more years. I love you Daddy.

thank God I am a woman…

Many times in my teenager years I regret being a woman, and many times my mom told me “don’t do that, you are a girl” I used to hate why God created me as a female. Not until I understand the purpose of my life, then I can say I really enjoy being a woman. what I love about women are…

The skirt and nice gown

The stiletto/wedges/high heels

Manicure and Pedicure


All kind of accessories

The monthly period

Delivering babies


Big boobs

The curve of female body

Long hair

The softness of our skin

Stories about woman or mother

The feeling and emotions as woman

so definitely, God wasn’t make a mistake when He gave me 2 chromosome X

what i love and hate about my wedding…

What i hate don’t really like were……….

1. The song for my entrance in the church was different from the one I was plan. (the one I was talking about yesterday)

2. Not all of my bride’s maid were my best friend. (there was special arrangement with my in-law)

3. The Pastor read the scripture from the Bible and replace the characters with our names. (i found this irritating, sorry!)

4. Didn’t get a change to take picture in front of the church after the ceremony. (no..comment!)

5. The make up artist retouch my make up but it make me look “too much” (menor…banget!)

6. The wedding cake was too tall till it reached the ceiling of the building. (or maybe the ceiling was too low?)

7. My husband sang me our song “how Do I live without you”, but the note was too high that he squeaked in one part of the song. (anyway, thanks for trying hon!)

8. The music was just a man play an organ. (the worse thing was toward the end the organ is broken)

9. The decoration was old fashion, with plastic flower. (blaaah)

10. Why did my family wear black on my wedding? (they didn’t confirm with me…)

what i love were…………..

1. Yudi was on time when come to pick me up. (where that “on time” go right now? ha…ha…ha)

2. My make up for the church was really nice. (Queen for a day)

3. My mom and dad sang with their choir for me. (they always give.. and give)

4. He dared to kiss me on the lips. (I was flying…..)

5. My hand bouquet and the decoration in the church were using my favorite flower. (I luv Sunflower)

6. My best friend Abby came all the way from the US to attended my wedding. (the best present!)

7. My brother Pierre sang a song he wrote special for me. (thanks bro!)

8. People said the food were great. (I didn’t get a chance to eat)

9. I got to dance “poco-poco” with the group.. (balenggang pata-pata, ngana pe goyang pica-pica…)

10. The first night was in the Borubudur Hotel, a compliment from Om Agus, my dad’s best friend (what a night!)

If you have a “perfect” wedding, lucky you, but if you don’t, just focus on the bright side!

you’re still the one…


Suddenly i just feels like writing my love story. Mine probably not as grande as Romeo and Juliet or as thrilled as Bella and Edward from the “Twilight”, but doesn’t each of us have a unique story, and that’s what make love stories always interesting to be told.

I wasn’t fall in love to Yudi at the first sight, or the second. The first time i met him was when I came back to Jakarta from the State for my sister wedding in 1996. He look like one of the highschool student, skinny with the hair a bit longer, in fact he was just graduate from one.  So for me who was at the time studied for my master degree and like the westerner, he’s not appealing at all, also because I didn’t plan to stay long in Jakarta at all.

But life is always full of mystery. I end up stayed for a year and worked for the Church. And for the last 6 months we were working together. Even then I wasn’t interested in him.I remember admired him because he was quite mature for his age. He was a great partner and I feel so secure to be with him. We went out date one time with some friends, but only as friends. My friends tried to fix me up with another guy who was at the same age with me,I wasn’t fall in love to him either but I try to build friendship.

Then I went back to continue my study in the US. He was one among my close friends who took time to come to the airport and say good-bye. forgetting what happen in Indonesia, I fall in love to an American, he was not a western but he’s been living there all of his life. At the time I thought he is the love of my life, my soul mate, because the feeling was so strong. But we can’t really pursuit our relationship because he was in the middle of family problems. He was married, have kids and filing for divorce. We talked but never date. He stop by to drop an ice cream, and asked my roommates to make sure how am I doing. So sweet right?. But I when i graduated I decided to go back to my country . It was a very hard decision to make, but somehow I feel that this is what God wants me to do.

So I left that piece of love story and come back to Jakarta. Every months the guy called from America. I told him about my life, my struggles, and he’s always encourage me. Even though my body is here, but my heart is there. It went on like that for a while until one friend asked me if I really want to wait for him to come and propose me then marry me?. It just down on me, that I can’t live in a dream, I have to be serious about a relationship because my age was on the critical time (33). So I decided to build one here, I open my heart and my mind, I think about some guys whom I felt good with, and one of them is Yudi. My friend helped to fix up our date, and after that we get close and getting to know better. He told me later on that he wasn’t intended to get marry any soon, and another friend try to fix him up with another girl. But he knew in his heart that I am the one who can help him grow and become a better person.

Still I am not crazy about him or anything. But there was one moment when I think I started to fall for him, when we were having a special service in a big hall. I saw him among many people, wearing green shirt walked toward me, and just like in the movie where everybody else goes blurry and he became the focus of my eye lenses. We had 2 dates before he asked me to be his girlfriend. He came to my place (at the time I live with a couple) in their house. Yudi came very early in the morning when I just got up. So he saw the real me, morning face and everything. He gave a beautiful bouquet of flower and  asked me to read the card he wrote for me. I was surprise because at the bottom of the card he wrote “Would you be my girlfriend?” I can’t say anything, just nodded for the moment was too precious to be ruined by my morning odour. Then he let me fix myself; took shower and put the make up on, and he took me for breakfast in a hotel. 

We were dating for 6 months when he asked me to marry him. It should be a beautiful day but sorry it wasn’t. We were dating with some friends in Pizza Hut, He asked if I want the ice cream for desert, I said no, but the ice cream come anyway with a ring on the top. Suddenly he was down on his knee, gave me a card and flower, I read it but didn’t respond accordingly. I let the ring drawn in the cup as the ice cream melting and all the eyes of our friends looking at both of us. I called my best friend to asked advice and she told me to just follow my heart, so I told him I wasn’t ready.

He could have drop our relationship right there, but instead he was patient and so supportive to me, the reason i wasn’t ready because lately we got in to arguments a lot, but after that rejection somehow it gets better. I saw his best quality, and that I thing make me fall in love deeper to him. Then I am the one who expecting him to ask me again, My birthday in November pass by, christmas pass by, New year’s eve gone, No sign of the proposal. I even told my friend maybe I should become like Julia Robert in the “Runaway Bride”, who kneel down and asked Richard Gere to marry her. But I don’t want to spoil that special moment for him, but when?. 

He took me by surprised on valentine’s day 2000. He was so busy (or pretend to) helping the valentine’s event we were having at the time, I felt so left out by him. In the Middle of the program, the MC said that some guy wanted to appreciate their girlfriend. One of them is Yudi, so he took me to the front and recite a love poems, I wasn’t really pay attention to the words, I was enchanted with the moment when suddenly he spell the magic sentence “Will you marry me?” For a moment I can not say anything. I was speechless, It feels like hours me standing there with him kneel down and hundred of people witness this. How can I say no, is there any other chance after that? I don’t want wasting  another minute without him. of course it’s a “YES”

Then the wedding preparation get started, meeting the family and all the problems related to it, prewedding photo session, plan for honeymoon and other things. The wedding it self has another story which i will post sometimes in the future, but one thing I can say now is that my love for him grow the more I know him. Even now with all the fight, the financial circumstance, the kids situation and the business of our works, he still the one I long to hold when I close my eyes at night.

what i like about my husband


1. he’s helping me doing house work

2. he bathed our kids when they were babies.

3. he kiss me everyday, even in public place.

4. he said taking me to work and pick me up is his main job.

5. he send me romantic SMS

6. he prayed with me when i’m feel worry or in trouble

7. he always remember and planning for our anniversary celebration

8. he’s close to my parents and siblings

9. he cook breakfast for me (sometimes)

10. he was jealous when i talk to an old friend.