dealing with my past…

Last Saturday we help mom and dad cleaned their house
This is a big project my brother Pierre initiated
I am 100% for it because I do love cleaning up
and it will be fun and lighter to do it together
during the cleaning we found many old stuff
pictures, books, document, letters and many other things.
mine were put in trash bags to be sort out later
the cleaning lasted 10 hours, we go home very tired
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Today I just get the time to go through my things
2 bags full of letters, some are from my penpal abroad
I remember when I join an international friendship club
and got mails from US, Germany, Estonia even Pakistan
and others from my family and friends when I was in college
there are also postcards, birthday and Christmas cards
And I even found my old song books and diary from 1986
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Read some of the letters bring backs so many memories
Some friends are still keep in touch through Facebook
but the others are nowhere to be found I’ve try searching
Read my diary even more sentimental, see myself in my 20’s
so young and energic, full of live, hopes and dreams
am I now really become what I want to be that time?
Read some card make me happy and sad at the same time
people wrote many nice things about me, I’ve touch some lives
But where are the unconditional love and passion now?
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Going through old stuff this time of the year isn’t too bad
It’s actually help me to regain some things I have lost
It also help me to refocus what I really need to achieve in the future
After sort out what to throw away, I keep the rest in a box
My husband help me to keep it in the storeroom
Maybe one day I can reopen it and share some here in my blog
But for now it’s enough coz my allergic of dust started to kick in
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i’m dreaming of a white christmas…

one thing I miss about christmas is the snow…
my first snow was in 1994 and I fall in love to it.
I am a truly tropical person, I love warm place
but in December I am craving for some snow
it’s almost ache inside not be able to feel it.
I would like to asked God for snow in my city
but that would be very selfish of me
consider many people living on the street
I don’t know when will I experience snow again
but till then I will hold on to these memories

@Potomac, DC
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@ Providence,RI
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@ King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
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visited my childhood memories…

Palopo is a little town in South Sulawesi, and I had an opportunity to visit it last week. Our family used to live there in the year of 1973-1978 when my dad become a branch manager in a government bank there. I can still remember clearly most of the places, from my 7 years old eyes it look much bigger and farther, but now seems smaller and closer. Places changes and people get older (some has pass away) but the memories remained and I want to share it here with you.
This was our old house, but turned into a hotel after we moved.
If I continued practice in this court, I might be a pro Tennis pro by now.
The Church my family used to go. There are classes for sunday school in the back.
The plain where I played soccer with the boys in the afternoon.
I got my tonsil out in this Hospital. I remember many ice cream came after that operation.
This was our 2nd home, right next to my father’s office.
This was the my school before we move out of this town, I attended 2 other schools before this.
A palace of the Luwu’s Sultan, It look much bigger back then.
Kapurung… one of my favorite food made of sagu, fish and vegetable.
My father old office. I got hit by a becak in front of this place when riding a bike.
I like to visit this harbor back then, I still do now.
My dad (tall grey hair) with some people I knew from the past…
I surely enjoy this journey…

my two grandma…


I just upload some old pictures to my Facebook the other day, and one of them is the picture of me and my sisters and brothers with our grandmothers. That picture was taken in 1975 at Palopo, one of the small town we used to live in South Sulawesi.

Oma Ota is my grandma from my father side and I have so little memories of her, except for one time she came to visit us in Manado, North Sulawesi. She’s wearing kebaya and kain like most of the traditional Mollucan women, and those clothes is wash with “kanji” a certain powder that make it very neat after the ironing. I remember she has a very deep eyes and she got the under eye pimples like the ones I have now. In December, 24th,1992 we got a sad news that she pass away. My dad took some of us to Ambon to attend her funeral. I think I was a bit scared of her and never feel really closed her. Just recently after reading my father autobiography I come to appreciate her, because she’s a tough woman. Her husband pass away when my dad was little, and she washed other people clothes to pay my dad’s school fee. My dad will never be a successful man if Oma Ota did not work very hard and pray for him.

Oma Dae is my grandma from my mother side. She’s a dressmaker and she made me lots of clothes. When she sew other people clothes, there will be left over material, and she know how to combine the fabrics to make a very nice and unique clothes for me. I remember watching her sew my clothes in the morning, and by afternoon I have already wear it to play outside with my sisters. She also taught me how to made pattern and how to cut the fabric perfectly, but too bad I never really into sewing thing. I loved her and feel so close to her. Too bad when she passed away in Ambon, I can’t see her, my mom flew back to pay her last respect.

As I write this I come to realized that their differences doesn’t mean one is better than the other. They have their own character but they have given their best to raised up their children. My father become a very hard working just like Oma Ota, and my mom is so loving just like Oma Dae. I am so grateful to have 2 beautiful grandmas and always keep this memories of them in my heart.